Riviera Beach, Florida, became the first major city to pass an anti-sagging law. The law, which passed with 72% of voters will charge those caught exposing their drawers a fine of $150 (first offense), $300 (second offense), or up to 60 days in jail for multiple offenders. The city says that this law isn’t to unnecessarily jail people, but to tell them to pull up their pants!

This is a law that my mother would personally love. The first thing I tell my suitors when they come home to meet moms, “pull up your pants, she hates sagging.” I say it’s a sign of respect, just like taking off your hat inside, however, when my mother goes on her rants about “today’s youth with their pants hanging off their asses”, I retort by stating that I’ve seen pictures of guys from the 80’s, particularly my father, where his pants were so tight that I could see the outline of his wallet in his back pocket. I think wearing pants that tight is almost equally disturbing…it’s just a sign of the times.

I’m not going to get outraged and say that this is an attack on personal style (although I validate whoever may feel that way), but it’s kinda true, everyone doesn’t need or want to see your drawers. Besides, I heard through the grapevine from a very real and legitimate gangster who shall remain nameless, that real thugs don’t even sag cause it just gets in the way of hoppin’ fences and what not. So there, for those of you who sag to look more hardcore, you’re actually sabotaging your street cred by sagging. But no sweat guys (and ladies), I don’t see this kind of thing flying in the liberal skies of California, where you are free to expose your drawers for all to see! And if you don’t like it, move to Florida!

—Jazmyne Young