Official Participant in the Youth Media Blog-a-Thon

I consider myself as very traditional, growing up in a Pakistani-Muslim family where signs of our culture and religion could be found in almost every aspect of life. Part of this culture considered it taboo to talk about sex.

I remember being taken out of class during the Sex-Ed sessions in middle school because my mom felt that that what they taught didn’t apply to me, because in Islam there is no sex before marriage. I knew that not everyone in middle school believed, like me to wait until marriage, but at the same time I didn’t think girls would give up their virginity as early as middle school.

Boy, was I wrong. My peers knew of my traditional background and wouldn’t mention sex or drugs in front of me out of fear that I would be “corrupted.” So I went through middle school thinking sex and drugs was something saved for high school.

By the time I got to high school, people were more blunt about their sexual relations with others. I didn’t find it to be shocking, because I had expected it, but what surprised me was that so many of the people in my circle of friends turned out to be one of these blunt people. I was astonished to find out that a straight-A friend of mine, also from a conservative family, had lost her virginity in the beginning of eight grade. Another friend from a family who expected her home by 4 pm everyday lost her virginity the summer before freshman year.

To me, being an “innocent,” I was more surprised at the age these girls were becoming sexually active than the fact that they were sexually active at all. I mean 8th grade? At that time, all school dances were during school hours! I always just assumed that the girls that were sexually active at school would be automatically labeled as the slut. But that was far from the case with my friend.

I recently had a conversation with my very close friend who has a date this Saturday with a guy three years older than her. She started talking and mentioned, that since he is older, he would probably want to take the relationship faster than she does. And then the talk turned to sex. She mentioned that she feels like, at 17, too young to give up her virginity. She mentioned that she had the same conversation with her mom earlier that day where she had found out her mom and aunts had all lost their virginity by the time they were 16. Personally, I was proud that she had come to her own conclusion that she was too young, which I also felt but, not wanting to impose myself on her, left for her to decide on her own.

So I guess my whole point with this “Sex Blog” is to let girls know it’s okay to wait. I mean, if your in eight grade and feel like your ready, that’s your prerogative. But I believe being sexually active makes you grow up fast, and why do that? Try to enjoy those day light dances in the gym for as long as you can! – Maahum Chaudhry