On the Olympics score rating, my level of sports fan-ness is about a 4.5 – save a point or so for my occasional patriotic ‘Go-Team-USA’ that pop up every other full moon.

This year the golden boy of the U.S. Olympic team is Michael Phelps who won eight gold medals for his Aqua Man-like abilities in the swimming pool.

Phelps reminds me of the really athletic, well-rounded kids from my high school. Even though it’s hard not to admire their skills, you can’t help but secretly despise them in some twisted way. Mainly because you can barely run a lap around the track but they can run five miles, ace their Chemistry test and still manage to run for class President. Okay, obviously I still have some unresolved high school issues…

Anyway! Back to Aqua Man.

Y’know how you recognize super heroes and cartoons characters by their signature outfits – I think I can only recognize Phelps when he wear his black swimming cap with the name PHELPS displayed boldly on the side. Well, that and the fact he’s emerging out of 6 feet of water.

In his ‘civilian’ outfit, Phelps looks like someone who might show up on the MTV show The Hills, or be one of the guys on the ads plastered outside of Abercrombie & Fitch. Not to say that takes away from his 8 times over victory, but if I saw Phelps on the street I wouldn’t know who he was. Phelps may have become the prime candidate for being a famous athlete and superhero rolled into one. During the day he’s a eight time winning Olympic winning swimmer, and by night he saves helpless victims from drowning at the deep end of the swimming pool.

But I don’t know anyone could take a part time super hero that seriously now that’s he’s endorsing Frosted Flakes as the ‘Breakfast of Champions’. Yum! Sugarcoated cereal! Now, I too can swim the 200-metre freestyle in under two minutes and break the world record! What a world…

—Eming Piansay